RUSH: Environmentalist wacko pick. In the early days of the program, I picked football games on Fridays, and a lot of people listening didn’t care. They didn’t like football, some women and some guys. “Come on, stick to the issues!” So I devised a way to combine politics with the football picks and came up with the environmentalist wacko method. What it does, basically, is take each contest, take the teams involved, and determine who should win.
It’s based on how animal rights and environmentalist wackos would view the game in terms of what’s fair and what isn’t fair. Now, this game is tough, using the environmentalist wacko method, because you got two animals. Normally in the environmentalist wacko method, the animal team would almost always be picked to win. There are exceptions even to that. So in this case, I mean, who are the Broncos? Well, the Broncos, they’re wild horses.
They’re not lovable and cuddly and so they have to be tamed, and who brought them here? There were no horses here. The Native Americans didn’t have them, didn’t need ’em. They were brought here by evil, white European settlers. That’s a strike against them. The owner of the Broncos is a Canadian oil baron. Ewww! Ooh-hoo! Yuk-o! Plus, you know, the Broncos, they’re not the best kind of horse you have.
A Bronco will never win a race.
You’ll never put a Bronco in the Kentucky Derby. They’re really the dregs, the way some of the environmentalist wackos look at it. Not the way you and I would. On the other hand, who are the Seahawks? Well, the Seahawks actually don’t exist. There isn’t such a bird. It’s said to be that they’re like the osprey. But what do they do? Well, they’re birds of prey. They kill other birds! Not good to the environmentalist wackos.
Except, they don’t do it because man made them do it. They do it because they’re on their own. They’re predators. That’s how they survive. So who owns the Seahawks? Well, the Seahawks are owned by a good liberal, Paul Allen. He’s a very, very rich liberal. He’s the cofounder of Microsoft. He has like five yachts, two of them bigger than any other yachts in the world, and he throws great parties and let’s TMZ on to cover them. Cool.
All kinds of rock stars show up, and A-list celebrities, and he also has like a fleet of five or six airplanes. One strike against him is he sold one of his airplanes to Trump, but we’ll look the other way on that. ‘Cause he screwed Trump in the process, and that’s good, as far as these people are concerned. He’s also said that when he passes away he’s gonna give all of his money away, but he’s not.
He’s gonna give to Bill Gates and to charity. So the owner of the Seahawks is considered one of the finest, greatest guys. The Seahawks themselves, they don’t really exist, and they’re kind of filthy, and they run around and they do kill otters and we love otters. But when you boil all this down, the fact that the Broncos are even here is because white Europeans brought ’em; the Seahawks got here on their own, they flew. By the way, these white Europeans brought syphilis and racism and sexism, too.
The Broncos deserve to lose, simply because of that.
So the environmentalist wacko pick would be the Seahawks, by default.
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